Inclusion: The Stories Behind Silence

Happy diverse people holding hands in the park

If you’ve ever brought up diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives to a resistant group – whether it was the management at your company or your colleagues – you may have heard pushback like “We can’t cater to everyone!” or “The way we have always done things works for ‘most people’.” You may have even thought these things yourself at some point. But what if I told you that the way we are doing things is not working for a lot of people and that making changes in the direction of diversity, equity, and inclusion can benefit many individuals and, ultimately, your whole organization?

Below, I’ll share specific examples from my own workplace experiences that demonstrate the power of DEI efforts.

Brandon’s Brilliant Solution

Several years ago, I had a coworker named Brandon who had taken a test and found out that he fell within a group of the 3% most introverted people in the U.S. He knew, and we knew, he wouldn’t speak up unless absolutely necessary, but our team was close-knit and intentional about including everyone.

In our staff meetings, people would bring professional challenges they were dealing with to the group, and we would discuss and brainstorm ideas to solve the problems. Brandon would sit quietly through these hour-long meetings, observing and listening. At the end of the meeting, he would say, “What if we tried this?” and proceed to lay out an idea that was totally brilliant. It was usually a very simple and elegant solution, one that showed he had been listening to every word spoken in the meeting and had incorporated all aspects of the issue into his solution.

We all know a Brandon, don’t we?

The American Norm

In American schools, workplaces, and beyond, being assertive and being heard is valued and rewarded far more than listening to others and seeking to understand. Often, we ask quieter people to speak up and participate, rather than asking the people who speak all the time to take a step back and make room for other voices. This puts an undue burden on one group while reinforcing potentially detrimental behavior in another. If you’ve ever been in a meeting where someone takes up a lot of space by unnecessarily restating what has already been said, or is clearly not listening to what others are saying but is merely waiting for their turn to talk, you understand what I mean.

Early in my career, I was known as a quieter person in the workplace. I would never be the first one to speak up in large meetings, and I would often not voice my opinion at all, assuming everyone had already thought of what I was going to say or that I didn’t have enough knowledge to contribute anything worthwhile.

I was often told that I needed to be more assertive or that I should speak up, but I had a hard time complying with this request because there was rarely an opening in the conversation and I felt rude interrupting others. Also, I like to think through my ideas before sharing them. By the time I’d formulated my thoughts, the discussion had often moved on to another topic. Being told to change my approach made me feel like there was something wrong with me, that I processed information too slowly or I was too introverted. This feeling made me struggle even more with speaking up because I viewed myself as someone who couldn’t keep up and wasn’t a valuable member of the team.

Search Committee Success

A few years into my career, I was on a search committee with people from another department. I didn’t know anyone in the group and had never worked in a department doing their type of work but was included in the committee to provide my outside perspective. After the first round of interviews, we had a meeting to discuss the candidates. Everyone shared their thoughts, and my perspective deviated pretty strongly from theirs. I assumed they knew better what their department needed, and my plan was to go along with what they decided.

However, since I hadn’t said much, they asked what I thought. I told them I thought the candidates they liked would be good ones to move forward. They looked at me, noticing the copious notes I had taken, and pushed me to say more. So, I shared what I was thinking. They asked some clarifying questions and ultimately changed their minds about who should be brought in for the next part of the interview process. I felt like my contributions were valued and my presence on that committee was beneficial to the search. They took the time to ask what I thought and gave me the space to express myself.

Reasons for Silence

Being a quieter person can be a personality trait, but there are also many other reasons people may be quiet in a workplace or school situation that are related to being part of a marginalized population. Women are socialized to believe that our voices are not as important as those of men. People from various cultural or racial groups may speak up less as a result of their socialization around communication norms, based on how trust is built in their communities, or because they feel like an outsider or have experienced discrimination in a school or workplace environment and therefore do not believe their contributions will be valued.

Whatever the reason a person may be quiet, making an effort to make space for and even seek out everyone’s voice benefits both the people who feel silenced and everyone else involved, who now get the opportunity to learn from their coworkers’ contributions.

Inclusion Resources

Here at ansrsource, we create Granular Education Module (GEM) experiences designed to promote diversity, equity, and inclusion in the workplace. Where Did I Get That Assumption? and How Do I Stop Making Assumptions? build awareness about issues of discrimination and encourage more acceptance from individuals in regular social settings.

Diversity and Inclusion is a popular GEM series that includes courses that educate people about challenges faced by various groups of people, debunk myths, and provide ways in which organizations and individuals can build harmony by intentionally practicing inclusion.

Explore these resources or find other ways amplify DEI efforts and uncover new voices in your organization. You won’t regret it!

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